Intracate
by Thoughts Of A Shadow
Summary: /"Dastan tries to do everything just like them. He gets yelled at when he does it wrong, but he can never remember when he does it right."/ Drabble series.
1. The Wrong One

**Drabble Number**_**:**__ 1_

**Prompt: **_She is not _her

**Word Count:**_ 392_

**Warnings: **_Confusing thought process._

**Summary:**_ Tamina is not the she Dastan wants her to be…_

**.:The Wrong One:.**

Dastan catches himself watching the new Tamina for awkwardly long amounts of time at the strangest places.

He watches her in the barns, the way she gently lifts up an apple and feeds the horse with a frown because it is too smelly to be in her presence. So unlike _her _with a smile on_ her_ face as _she_ strokes the horse's mane and sniffs in the mud.

He watches her when they walk, the way she daintily steps as she picks out a careful path, head bowed and silent. So unlike _her_ with _her_ head held high, strides long and important and proud.

He watches her when the talk, the way she does not look him in the eye and has nothing to say to him at all. So unlike _her_ with _her_ sharp eyes and fiery words that clearly state that _she_ has something to say to him and he better listen to _her_.

He watches her as she rides, the way she sits side saddle and proper and as if she does not want to be there. So unlike _her _with _her_ aggressive attitude and normal riding style as _she_ tells him to hurry up.

He watches her as she argues, the way she compromises and backs off and cannot speak forcefully. So unlike _her_ with _her_ constant demands and refusal to compromise because _she_ is a priestess.

He watches her all the time, the way she is shy and quiet and timid and scared. The way she accepts him and does not rebuke him and does not tease him.

So unlike _her_ with _her_ need to be recognized and heard and seen. So unlike _her_ with _her _incessant taunting and correcting and denial to be content with his personality.

She is not _her_.

But the _her_ that he so wants is trapped in a dust-covered rock, lost in a world of would-have-beens and could-have-beens that _she_ will never come out of.

And so he is stuck with the she he does not want. The she that is so unlike the _her_ that fills his dreams.

Some days he thinks that maybe, _maybe_ if he tries hard enough or imagines long enough, of remembers fast enough, she will become _her_ and he will not be so…

Miserable.

Because the she is not the _she_ he wants her to be.


	2. Following Them

**Drabble Number: **_2_

**Prompt: **_Dastan can never mimic them enough._

**Word Count: **_471_

**Warnings: **_Angst and a sad young Dastan._

**Summary: **_Dastan will always try to mimic them, but he can never quite get it right._

**.:Following Them:.**

Dastan tries to do everything like them.

They eat their food with several different forks, but he can never remember if he is supposed to start from the outside and work his way in, or start at the inside and work his way out.

He gets yelled at whenever he does it wrong, but he can never remember when he does it right.

(Garsiv is usually the one yelling.)

They ride their horses proud and tall, and are able to swing up at a moment's notice, but he needs a boost and he falls off anyway.

He gets laughed at for hitting the ground, but he never can get the balance to stay upright.

(Garsiv is usually the one laughing. Tus just stands.)

They read their scrolls in silence in the library, but he can never remember which letter is which, and so often has to ask his new older brothers what it says.

He gets sighed at when he quietly pokes a shoulder, but he can never remember the difference between v's and u's.

(Tus is actually the one who sighs. Garsiv just scowls in the background.)

They fight with swords, swinging them around with ease and agility, but he cannot lift the heavier blades, and he wonders why he cannot use the lighter daggers.

He gets reprimanded for asking such stupid questions, but he can never tell which questions are stupid and which are not.

(Garsiv and Tus are both reprimanding him, standing over him together so they are doubly intimidating.)

They do everything right, speaking and moving and bowing and following instructions, but he can never forget what it was like when he was free and happy and not here.

He does not get yelled at or laughed at or sighed at or reprimanded because he tells no one of these wished, because he can never tell who will listen and who will mock.

These are the reasons Dastan attempts to mimic his brothers; because they do not have silly dreams of being a street urchin, climbing walls like a dumb monkey and smelling of filth all day. They have dreams of leading armies and fighting strong men and ruling Persia, and they say he should have dreams like theirs and not like his, because being a Prince is better than anything.

Better than getting yelled at because he did something 'cool'.

Better than getting laughed at because he was funny.

Better than getting sighed at because his mother does not wish to scold him.

Better than getting reprimanded because the street vendor does not want to see him stealing.

Better than having dreams that are simple and good enough for a street rat like him.

He is a Prince now, and he should act accordingly.

But at least his acting is getting better...

Right?


End file.
